Have you ever been up to your eyeballs (or should I say the water is already floating over your head and you’re trying not to drown) in overwhelm?
That was me yesterday. I didn’t want to do anything and felt completely exhausted.
As a bootstrapping company, we’ve had some hard times over the past year, but yesterday was really hard.
Let me give you a little social wedding planning startup 101.
We built wedocracy to plan our Nigerian-American-Jewish wedding in Mexico, and it helped us celebrate one of the most amazing days of our lives. Since then, we’ve been bootstrapping our company for a year. I can’t overstate how much this has helped us shape the product, and focus on building something to help engaged couples and their guests have an amazing wedding experience via social wedding planning.
And now, we’re hurting because we’re running out of money.
I know the statistic: 90% of startups fail. But, I want us to have a fighting chance. I want to know we gave it our all.
Right now, we’re working our butts off to launch the mobile app (6 weeks away & we’re keeping our fingers crossed) and we’re counting the pennies to make sure the money will be enough.
Remember your childhood piggy bank? I remember how excited I was to turn it over and collect my savings when I really wanted something special. I saved for my first grown up bike. It was exactly 63 dollars and I remember counting each dollar and penny and feeling my palms sweat as I prayed it was enough.
I pray we have enough to get us launched.
My husband and I both worried that we won’t have enough money and a flood of emotions came crashing down. And so, instead of stopping them, I let myself cry. I let myself feel tired. I let myself lay in bed. I let myself stop, and I let myself ask: Why are you doing this?
Let’s get the money part out of the way. Of course I’m doing this because I want it to be a financially lucrative business. Who doesn’t want that for their company. But, I can take a pass on the craft beer and ping pong tables.
Before I wrote this post, I listened to a poem I wrote called To the poet not yet born, which deals with what happens when we know what we were born to do. Here is my favorite line:
You now know what you were born to do
Although I was referring to being a poet, the words still ring true when it comes to running our startup.
After publishing my first book of poetry, I was asked why I chose writing.
I wrote this poem as my response to this question because I never thought about choosing to be a poet. I always knew it was something I was born to do.
I’ve always enjoyed helping people by sharing my experiences. I’m good at taking my life experiences and giving it back to people in a way that’s useful to me and to them. As a poet, I got so much out of performing and watching people in the audience nod their heads (don’t worry, the post about my experience as a poet-techie is coming soon) when something I said resonated with them. There’s a craft to poetry. There’s the art of taking life as we know it and transforming it into something else. There’s something magical about saying: This is not how it has to be. Here’s another way to look at this.
I had to figure out why solving this problem was so important
I reminded myself of the fact that so many people don’t get to enjoy their weddings as much as I did. So many people have wedding horror stories and after spending tons of money, have nothing to show for it except regret. I realized that the same motivation for my writing also influences my creativity in tech startup land. I found myself saying: This is not how it has to be. There is another way to do this.
We created wedocracy because we want to help more and more people live with less regret, especially on one of life’s most important days. Life is short. Life celebrations don’t happen so often. Let’s make them count. Let’s make them amazing!
I know that I’m doing this because our lives are made up of these amazing moments that shape them. We have a chance to engage and transform our experiences. I created wedocracy because I want to help people enjoy this once in a lifetime opportunity.
Weddings should be amazing. Mine was, and if I can help you do the same, then I’m all in.
Have you ever had a business-related meltdown? What got you back on your feet again?
Thanks for showing up for the #yeswecode Twitter chat, happening on Sunday (7/27/14) at 8pm Central Time. I’m excited to talk to everyone and to have you share your experiences . We’ll be doing a #yeswecode recap and getting practical. If you’re looking for more information about the #yeswecode initiative, why it matters and how it relates to this event, scroll down to the bottom of the page. If you’re here to check out the guidelines, start here:
#YesWeCode Twitter chat guidelines
Rules:
It’s not easy to talk about race, gender, inequality and how we all feel about it. After all, being vulnerable can be very scary. It takes trust, faith and the desire to have the difficult conversations that often lead to change. In order to do that, we need some groundrules to facilitate the conversation. Thanks for showing up!
1. Disagree without name calling.
2. Point out where ideas might fail, but also share what you think might work.
3. Critique the idea & not the person
4. Be Brave. Be Visible. Be You. Be inspired! Enjoy this time!
Thanks for coming here to have this much needed discussion!
What is a Twitter chat?:
A live, real-time discussion taking place via twitter messages
A chat using a specific hashtag (#yeswecode)
Each participant can contribute to the conversation by adding comments using the hashtag #yeswecode
What to expect from #yeswecode chat:
an exchange of ideas exploring the digital divide & creative ideas to move forward
a network of people in the tech (mentors, VC’s, Tech organizations, startup founders, entrepreneurs) space who are interested in exploring topics related to diversity in tech
Format:
I will ask a series of questions during the hour long chat.
The question format will look something like this: Q1: Why is diversity in tech important to you?
You can respond by clicking Reply or using A1(as in Answer 1) and type in the rest of your tweet, making sure you don’t forget the hashtag (#yeswecode)
I’ll keep the questions going during the hour, and ask each one after a round of answers have received.
I will retweet your posts as long as they fit the guidelines (see below)
you can also feel free to click “reply” to any tweets by me or other participants you want to respond to
Introducing yourself & sharing your ideas:
At the beginning, I’ll ask everyone to introduce themselves & their work
You’ll have a chance to say something like this: Example intro tweet for you & your company: We build wearable tech @(companyname) & we’re also looking to mentor tech startups #yeswecode
At the end of the chat, I’ll give everyone a chance to mention any upcoming events they have. For example, your tweet might look something like this: @yeswecodehack happens** Jul 3-6 @Essence #yeswecode
The chat will be ongoing, so if we don’t cover something you want to discuss today, let me know and I’ll see if we can fit it in during another chat.
Join us for the #YesWeCode twitter chat: Diversity in tech & creative ideas to move forward Host: Uchechi Kalu Jacobson @uchechi_writes
Sunday June 29th, 2014 8pm CST
By now, we’ve all heard the statistics about the lack of diversity in the tech industry. The questions we’re now asking are these: What can be done about it? What’s already being done? Why is it so important? Where do we start? There are many organizations working to change this by teaching support underrepresented communities in technology. Just last week, Google launched a $50 million initiative to teach young girls how to code.
YesWeCode is also a twitter chat taking place on Sunday, June 29th. led by Uchechi Kalu Jacobson, a New Orleans based tech entrepreneur and startup co-founder. Her wedding planning startup, wedocracy.com, is a community partner with the #YesWeCode hackathon. The goal is to generate conversation with the global twitter community about how the lack of diversity in tech impacts all of us and find creative solutions to address it.
Join thought leaders, influencers, coders, hackers, designers and everyone and anyone interested in seeing tech become a space that not only creates products for the global community we live in, but engages the world’s diversity as part of the creative teams behind these products.
What: Diversity in Tech Twitter Chat When: Sunday June 29th, 2014 8pm CST Where: Join us on Twitter, using the hashtag #yeswecode Hosted by: Uchechi Kalu Jacobson @uchechi_writes
For more information about the #YesWeCode organization, mission and events, please visit www.yeswecode.org. For further more about the #YesWeCode Hackathon (#ywchack), go here: www.yeswecodehack.com
Last weekend, my husband (CTO) and I sat in front of the television and watched Shark Tank, the intriguing show where entrepreneurs get their few minutes of fame and the chance to pitch in front of investors who can choose to fund them or not. As the co-founders of a fledgling startup, we can’t help but tune in each week. One thing that comes up over and over as the investors debate whether or not they will fund someone is the question of uniqueness. Several times during a show, the sharks remind so many entrepreneurs that someone could copy their idea and they would be left struggling to compete. And while there’s some truth to what they are saying, I’d like to think of things in another way.
After watching this weeks episode, my husband and I started talking and I told him that no one can copy the soul of a company. He immediately said “I smell a blog post.” And in fact, he was right. I needed to explain what I was saying to him and to share it with others. Most entrepreneurs out here in the world of startup adventures want to solve a problem. For our part, we’d like to help people enjoy their wedding planning and the day itself. We want people to have a system that allows them to stress less and enjoy this significant time in their lives from the day they get engaged until the day they walk down the altar. How did we come up with this app?
Well, we built it during our own recent engagement. We wanted great online tools that would support us in planning our multicultural destination wedding. Can someone else copy that idea? Sure! Can someone else decide to build a wedding planning app? Of course!
We know we’re not the only ones out there. But there’s the product – and then there’s the people and the story behind the product. For me, the soul of an idea combines the problem, the people and the solution.
The problem was that we needed comprehensive online tools to help us plan. We wanted something aesthetically pleasing and practical.
The people behind the idea were two web development folks who believed they could create something that could solve their problem and add to their enjoyment, as well as the enjoyment of their guests.
The story involves a couple who owned a web development company and their desire to use great tools to plan one of the most significant days in their life. So, they created those tools for themselves. At the time, they did not think about making the app publicly available. But many months later, after they saw how much people struggled to enjoy this time in their lives, they wanted to help.
So, what’s the soul of wedocracy? It’s the many cups of coffee and the late night conversations about how to make something that will help people plan in a way that increases enjoyment for everyone. It’s the mornings seeing the sun rise after hyper-focused hours of prototyping, designing and coding. It’s the evenings we snuggle on the couch, holding a glass of wine in one hand and the remote in the other hand, ready to watch Shark Tank. It’s the smiles that come to our faces when we remember our wedding day, and are able to say we have no regrets whatsoever. It’s the unique opportunity to work together, love together and build something born out of our love. Now, that’s the soul of our company.
Can someone copy that? I don’t know. But I do know they’d have to get married, preferably in a wedding that involved guests from 4 countries, and customs from 4 cultures and maybe they’d need to throw in a tequila donkey to march in their post wedding procession with them.
If you have something with an inspiring story based on a real problem you needed to solve that can really help other people, then you should keep going.
If you realize your idea or company does not have a good story, then it may be time to rethink things and make a few changes.
As a startup entrepreneur, I am constantly asked this question:
What’s your background and how did it prepare you to become an entrepreneur?
Of course I expect people to ask and wonder, and I often wonder the same thing. While I think it’s just fine to have a great idea, I also believe that the life experiences I’ve had have deeply and profoundly shaped my qualifications.
So, here is my answer according to what most people want to know: College degree? Check! User Experience Designer? Check! Content Strategist? Experience running a web development company? Check!
And since our startup is a wedding planning app, I must also answer according to my wedding planning experience: Recent bride? Check! Built the app with my husband during our engagement? Check! Used it to plan our own wedding? Check!
What you don’t know is that the single most important life event that prepared me to be doing exactly what I am doing now started when I was 13 years old.
I have been thinking a lot about this lately, and realized that my inclination towards entrepreneurship started 22 years ago.
Let me give you a little background. Growing up, my life was full of chaos all the time. Whether the crazy came from my father’s temper or his violent hands, no one was very happy. For some reason, I realized early on that I was smart. I could get good grades, and impressed teachers enough for them to pull me aside and inquire as to what I planned to do with my talents.
Since my family life also came with highly educated parents, I always knew college was not a question of if, but more a question of where.
To make matters even more complicated at home, when I was 10 years old my father pulled me aside and told me that I had to learn how to cook or no Nigerian man would pay a dowry on my behalf (another day I may tell the story of “The Bride Who Only Knew How to Boil & Salt Water”). To my frightened pre-adolescent ears, dowry was synonymous with drowning. So, I set a life-changing goal for myself: Figure out how to use my talents to get out of my house in a way that my parents would allow.
That meant getting into a really great college. My Nigerian parents were severely traditional and they had their eyes on Harvard and so my plan was this: get as far away as I can while still getting into a top college.
Of course California was the perfect choice. In my opinion, California was the place where freedom was just as evident as the sunshine and that’s where I was going. Plus, you could hardly get any farther away from Massachusetts and still be in the USA (if only Alaska had a top university…).
So there I was in my school library and my super-brilliant idea came to me. I would go to California somehow and that’s what would get me out of an arranged marriage and the continuous violence that filled the air in my parent’s house.
I was disrupting the Nigerian American industry of keeping the kids at home until marriage, and eventually choosing their spouses for them.
My MVP(minimum viable product) was to get into any college that was far enough to discourage my parents from visiting.
Going to California would be icing on the cake, but I knew that it would be quite difficult.
And so the journey began. Every year, I reviewed the acceptance requirements for UC Berkeley and Stanford. I also spoke to every teacher and school counselor who would hear me out, and I explained the situation. They were my investors and advisory board, writing letters of recommendation and doing everything they could to make sure I took advanced placement courses starting in my junior year.
I did not sleep much. I joined as many school clubs as I could in order to stay out of my house and do something that would help me get into college. I accepted my father’s 6pm curfew instead of fighting it so I could spend that time studying. I blocked out the bloodied faces of siblings (and often my own) by finding a book, learning more, winning spelling bees and high school scholarships. In essence, I wanted more for myself than what I was told was possible in my life. I wanted to thrive, and not just live or survive.
When I was 17 years old, the college acceptance letters started pouring in. I caressed the embossed school letterheads on each envelope. I looked for bigger packages and prayed small envelopes would stay away from my doorstep. I greeted the mailman, then headed to my room and shut the door as fast as I could. This journey had been a 4 year long odyssey and everything hinged on getting in. And everybody knows that four years to a teenager is 15 for an adult (I think nowadays they call that “internet time”).
During the summer of 1996, I boarded a plane to California. As I sat in my seat, I kept looking behind me to see if I was dreaming. Would my father suddenly board the plane and tell me I was not going? Would the stewardess call out my name and tell me there had been a mistake with my ticket and ask me to leave the plane? When the engine roared and I opened my eyes to see that I was still on that plane and about to change my life forever, I leaned back into the seat and laughed so hard! I had done it!
So, what has most prepared me to be an entrepreneur?
Here’s why: This experience taught me about dreaming big, facing my fears then doing something that seemed unbelievably impossible and living to tell about it. Sound familiar?
I have days when I feel overwhelmed and my fears creep in. I wonder what will become of our company and if we will succeed. But then, I sit back and remember that 13 year old girl who planned and executed her escape plan and I think: Girl, you’ve got this!
What life experience(s) prepared you to be an entrepreneur?
