in the good company of my fear
it still comes to me
just when my pen goes to paper
don’t write that
it says
what will your mother think
it constantly reminds me
it has been years since
my mother first found my
first manuscript
and said no
to some poems
these are not the things
you tell people
she always said
and i know what she means
these are not the things
fear lets you believe
you can tell people
but I’ve learned to do it
anyway
keep my fear close
love it
feed it its favorite
foods
lungs, tight chests,
spaces, tall trees
more time
more space
sometimes it asks for the sky
sometimes it wants trees
sometimes it wants a day with
no cell phone
we have become close
friends now i think
i write with fear in my mind
opened my mouth
and said its name
so it is no longer
a ghost
disappearing in my grasp
all things I know
bone, blood
cartilage,
my nose
all things I’ve been afraid of
all things I can now learn to love
© Uchechi Kalu